


Bruce

by GiggleSnortBangDead



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Has Whatever You Like (Good Omens), Bad Dirty Talk, Crack, Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24649255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiggleSnortBangDead/pseuds/GiggleSnortBangDead
Summary: Prompt: "A & C have a pretty regular, very comfortable sex life. Not too kinky, not too vanilla. Really, after living for 6000 years, it's difficult to be shocked by anything.Until one of them, in the middle of very pleasurable, very intense lovemaking, says something so downright weird, outrageous, and disgustingly perverted..."I did my best.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 161





	Bruce

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this prompt](https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/3161.html?thread=2795097#cmt2795097), although i deviated a bit because i am bad at prompt fills u.u
> 
> if you're worried about the dirty talk, it's basically spoiled in the end notes. 
> 
> shoutout to [pinafortuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinafortuna) and [hanggracefully](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanggracefully) for telling me that, yes, this is funny and not just dumb

Crowley's breath was hot in his ear, his hands gripping and groping his sweatslick sides. Aziraphale's thigh pushed up around Crowley's hips, his hands clutching Crowley's shoulders. Crowley was so close, and he was fucking so deep (and so fast!), and Aziraphale couldn't help the high-pitched squeal he made when Crowley slammed in particularly rough and dirty. Aziraphale, rightfully, was embarrassed by this noise, but over the years he'd learned just how wild the sound made Crowley and tried to be unrestrained. 

True enough, Crowley held him even tighter, his thrusts becoming erratic, and Aziraphale's high, moany breaths had Crowley growling in his ear. "You feel so good." 

"Oh," Aziraphale whined, because Crowley was pounding him blissfully well, "Love, yes" 

"You're so hot and wet," Crowley whispered, his voice gruff and low. "Your back is so slick," he continued mindlessly, while Aziraphale moaned at the words. "You feel just like a dolphin."

"What?" Aziraphale laughed, coming startled, bearing down while Crowley shot off inside him.

Then Crowley froze. 

"Darling, what was that about a dolphin?" Aziraphale panted, trying to work his hips down, to see if Crowley would ride out the aftershocks with him.

"I have to leave," and Crowley pulled out quickly, his cock still spurting a little. He tried to move away. Aziraphale instinctively held him tighter.

"I'm not done!" he said, which wasn't quite true, because he'd just come and had twice at the start of things. But he could go more! It was the principle! 

"I've gotta go," Crowley said again, shoving off and running bare-arsed out the door, leaving Aziraphale bewildered on the bed.

* * *

They lived together, so there really wasn't anywhere for Crowley to run off to except his car for a quick drive around the county. Aziraphale, after working himself over once more with only some grumbling, cleaned up and put on his robe and set the kettle on. He was enjoying a nice cup of jasmine tea and one of Crowley's automotive magazines when Crowley finally waltzed back in. 

"Hey, angel," he said, cool and unaffected like they weren't going to talk about it. 

"Come have tea, dear." Aziraphale raised his cheek up for a kiss, and when he felt Crowley's lips against him, he asked, "Dolphins?" 

Crowley stood up straight. He made a move to the door and then stopped himself. "You're not going to let this go," he said. 

"Oh, absolutely not!" Aziraphale chimed. "So you might as well sit down and get it over with now." 

Mumbling, Crowley slumped into a chair, crossing his arms and looking away. "There's nothing to talk about. It was a slip of the tongue." 

"One you rather liked," Aziraphale hummed and stood to grab a second teacup. Crowley glowered. "Darling, what exactly is it about dolphins that you like?" 

"Listen, I didn't make fun of you when we did that thing—the cream cheese thing— so — "

"No, you didn't." Aziraphale poured the tea. "Although I'll remind you that it was initially your idea. It's now my idea to incorporate this dolphin roleplay into our love-life, apparently, but I'll need the particulars first." 

"'S no particulars," Crowley mumbled,

"Oh, come now! I find that very hard to believe!" He watched with pleasure as Crowley wrapped his hands around the teacup for warmth, even if he didn't move to drink. "Dolphins are spectacular creatures. Have you fantasized about it for long?" 

" _Ugh_ , angel, _fantasized_ , come on." Aziraphale sipped, waiting to see how long it took for Crowley to break. Not much time, apparently, because after one moment of squirming, Crowley snapped. "Dolphins are the most perfect animals on the planet," he explained. "They're beautiful, and they sing, and they're smart, and— _yes_ , they're also sensual." Crowley looked angry at himself for using that word. 

"I see." Aziraphale didn't quite see, but he liked how much Crowley liked it. "And would you like to be a dolphin?" 

Crowley snorted. "Course not." 

"But you'd like me to be a dolphin." Aziraphale didn't need to ask. Crowley got quiet and shy again. "And you'd be... human-shaped?" 

"...No." 

Aziraphale felt delighted. "No?" 

"...ᴵ'ᵈ ᵇᵉ ᵃ ˢʰᵃʳᵏ." 

"You'd _what_?"

Crowley groaned, his entire face blaring red. "Listen, _sometimes_ , just _sometimes_ , I think like maybe I'm a shark and you're a dolphin and we're in the ocean, and it just works for me. That's all." 

"Oh, but, darling, I don't think sharks and dolphins can mate," Crowley looked devastated, and Aziraphale realized he'd misspoke. "But I would imagine if you were a shark, you could have your way with whatever sealife you wished. So, have you waylaid me from my pod, and now have me in your jaws?"

"No," Crowley said, frowning but no longer quite upset. "I wouldn't do that to a dolphin." 

"Oh, yes, of course. And what kind of shark are you? In fact, what kind of dolphin am I? There are such an awful lot of different types. Oh, I'd imagine I'm a bottlenose, or perhaps a spotted. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer me as a manatee? No, I suppose a bottlenose or the atlantic spotted _do_ have a sense of eroticsm that you can't find in a manatee. But, dear, what sort of shark did you say you were?" 

"Great white," Crowley mumbled.

"Ah, yes, like in that motion picture you like so much. Bruno."

"Bruce."

"Yes, Bruce. My little Brucie," Aziraphale reached across the table. He took Crowley's hand in his own. "It will take me a while to figure out how to get my corporation right, but I do think I can manage it. And why buy a coastal property if you don't make full use of the sea?"

Crowley smiled, full and goofy, and then realized what he'd done and tried to school his features into something muted and cooler. "Yeah?" 

"Of course, Crowley." Aziraphale gave his hand a squeeze. "But you'll have to explain more of the mechanics to me first. For instance, hypothetically, how will we be using my blowhole?"

**Author's Note:**

> idk if any of you have used okcupid but there's a question on there that's like "what would you do if your partner ask you to make a dolphin noise in bed?" and i have lived in fear of this happening to me ever since reading that question. 
> 
> anyway hope this made you laugh a lil
> 
> ([Follow me on my professional fanfiction twitter](https://twitter.com/gigglesnortPro) or [just come kick it with me on my tumbly](https://gigglesnortbangdead.tumblr.com))


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